a man and his nuts

on my plane ride to denver the man sitting next to me not only wouldn't shut up no matter how many times i answered his questions with simple, slightly rude, one word answers, but he also downed 3 bags of snacks and an entire can of tomato juice in the amount of time it took me to eat 1 bag of the fiesta snack pack and about half a can of ginger ale.

how'd he do the nut and juice thing you ask...simple. he literally dumped the nuts down his throat with disturbing immediacy (only spilling a few that he promtly dug between the seats to find) and then the tomato juice was consumed in an extremely loud slurping fashion. i put my headphones on to drown it out, but noooooo he somehow managed to even out-do the wailings of the king of rock 'n soul himself, solomon burke.

damn you airplane man. damn you, and your little dog too. and by dog i mean whatever it was you were reaching down your pants to adjust the entire 2nd half of the flight.