rotten cheese...

as i was just flipping thru the channels waiting for my night of sports and zach "sara is so gonna have my babies" braff to begin i came across a disturbing sight. gigli, that horrific movie with those "actors" (what were they called again? oh yeah, bennifer) was on the "love stories" channel. whodabudawhat?

the love stories channel? love story my ass. she was a lesbian. he may or may not have been gay (they kinda left that up to us to conclude. ya know, to make things more cerebral.) they had no on screen chemistry. which kinda perplexes me b/c how do you not have on screen chemistry when you're supposedly bumpin uglies between scenes? no wonder she married marc anthony. he's waaaay hotter than ben affleck. ya know, if you like that emaciated look.

anyway, i'm not sure if i'm most disturbed by the fact that it was on the love stories channel or by the idea that someone actually paid money to be able to show it. who pays for actual crap? fake crap, maybe. but, real crap? talk about a waste of money.

and yes i know for a fact it's crapalicious. i've seen it. well most of it at least. i didn't have the stomach to watch it all the way through. and i'm a fan of home imporovment shows and after-school specials so you can imagine how bad it had to be to make me dislike it. we all know i love cheese. in any form really. including the form movies and television often offer, but this isn't even cheese. to call it cheese is a disgrace to the name.

and no, i did not see in the theatre. i did not rent it. my brother owns it. i should so leave the story at that and make him scramble to defend himself. that'd be awesome. but i won't. he got it as a gag gift. yeah, i know, good one. she gave it to him with that mariah carey stink bomb, glitter. which pretty much makes it the greatest gift ever. especially for a movie aficionado like big e. too bad she couldn't go back to best buy for like a year.