what not to wear...

i spent about 45 minutes at the mall yesterday. i tried to stay longer but that was already 20 over my tolerance level. during my trip to the axis of evil i saw more than enough mini skirts (and 12 year olds in them) to last a lifetime. i tell you what, when i was 12 i was nowhere near allowed to even wear makeup let alone miniskirts and skin tight crop tops. it ridiculous. since when is hitting 'double digits' the appropriate age to start allowing your child to look like a hooch and a half? and parents wonder why their daughters end up pullin' tricks at the age of 14 (they're' illusions michael, tricks are what whore's do for money. or candy.')
there were also plenty o' chubbikins in itsy bitsy teeny weening yellow polka dot...uhhh...skirts? there was this one chikeroo whose mom ran in to some dude she knew and the girl immediately started pulling on her skirt trying to make it longer and not as offensive. maybe she should have done that before wearing it in public in the first place. then there was the escalator chick. i think she was my favorite. she was definitely the classiest. sweetie, if you're gonna ride the escalatoor in a mini skirt do not and i repeat do not rest one leg up on the step in front of you unless you're trying to have all the mall patrons see your prepubescent cooch.

and the award for the most inappropriate mental image goes to ...