i'm not a hermit, i'm just thrifty...

i'm suppose to go out this weekend. and i'm probably going to go to a show tomorrow night. so that would mean going out on thursday and on saturday. holy crap batman! stop the presses! can you believe it?! if you can...you obviously don't know me. at least not lately. ya see, i don't go out that much these days. it's pretty much because i'm broke. don't believe i'm broke? just ask my brother. poor guy pays for everything. so yeah i'm broke and when you're broke you really shouldn't spend money. especially not on extraneous things like alcohol or cover charges. and certainly not if you've got plenty of booze at home. plus, i hate to say it and admit i'm slowly descending down the cool-20-something-chick ladder, but going out just isn't that much fun anymore. it's fun once in a while, when you've got a good group of folks with you or when you're going to see a band you love. but really, why do we bother getting all gussied up to go hand our money over to the man? if not for the aforementioned items, i say "just say no!"
here are a few reasons why we the people of the united states of america go out and examples of why those reasons are bogus...

• to drink: uh yeah. you can drink at home. and a lot more for a lot cheaper.

• but you don't wanna drink at home alone: alone? who said anything about alone? if you've got a creative enough imagination you're never alone. plus, as the night goes on and you get more shitfaced your one imaginary friend will miraculously appear to be 2 and then you've basically got a party. well until you pass out (or your roommate comes home and stages an intervention)

• to dance: dance? buddy i dance all the time. in my car, in my room, at the strip club...uh i mean...what?

• to pick up guys: i was once given the sound advice that boys are stupid, throw rocks at them. as much as i am a fan of men and of throwing (and sometimes kicking or even skipping) rocks, i'm not so sure about them in conjunction with each other. i'm also not so sure the bar would appreciate my throwing rocks at every so-called "man" (3 snaps in a z formation) that walked in the door.

• to pick up chicas: what are you gonna do? buy her a drink? flash her a little smile? give her a cheesy ass line like "hello"? seriously dude, give it up.

• to hang out with the hot bartender: ok so i probably shouldn't argue this one simply because i met one of my best friends because he was a "hot bartender". but he quit bartending to focus on his biochemistry phd so HA. alright fine, i won't be a hypocrite. if you wanna go hang out with the "hot bartender" go for it, but beware...in the morning they may not be so "hot."
  

• because you're 18, have big boobs, and the bouncers love you: have fun. i'm not gonna argue with you on this one. mainly b/c for this scenario to be true you're proably a freshman in college, and have an army of annoying 18 year old girls along side you and frankly, you people drive me batty so i'd rather not have to talk to you.
  

so go out if you'd like. but just know, you dont have to. you can have just as much fun sitting home playing "never have i ever" with yourself.