a night in the life of mom...

all i have to say is that my mom rules.

this is an email she sent to me and my siblings at 5 am this morning.

Couldn't sleep tonight so i started folding clothes around 2 a.m.- that done, I decided to at least put away papi's underwear, t-shirts, etc., all nicely folded - that done; i crawled under the covers..hmm 3 a.m. and still awake..okay where's that exercise ball papi inflated for me..into the girl's room, oh Hi Ball..let's check you out..cool, just the right size, lean to the right, lean to the left..oooh this is a little heavy leaning and holding this thing over my head..hmm..dumb hour to exercise, okay back to bed..comfy..smooth, clean sheets, nice, papi's warm back leaning into my back..THEN..a blasting car alarm! i looked at the clock, 3:45 a.m...i jumped out of bed saying to papi..that's YOUR car alarm..(I hear a sleepy 'ya) dashing down the hallway, I jumped into my flip-flops, ran out to the driveway and no car..OH MY GOD!! IT"S GONE!!!!!!!!! Running back into the house, almost stroking out, I yelled, IT'S GONE..THEY STOLE YOUR CAR!! as I'm picking up the phone to dial 911 I hear your father's sleepy voice say..I parked out front last night..WHHHAAATTTT????? He NEVER parks "out front"! So back done the hallway, car keys in hand, out I went to park the car back in the driveway! As i got in the car, and the lights came on, there on the windshield, sliming down in the moonlight, are cracked RAW EGGS all over the car windows..so into the driveway I drove and then the fun began..I ran over to grab the hose and the sprinkler was attached so I stood there trying to unscrew a sprinkler head that had been COOKED onto the damn hose in this 110 degree weather of late..didn't work..oh hell, just turn on the hose and hold the damn thing straight at the car..it worked..sort of..as water sprayed in every direction soaking my pajamas and feet I tried desperately to wash off the windows using my bare hands..UGH!! Gross..into the kitchen, then out with windex, sponge, and dripping clothes, back out to the car..now finished, hose off, car washed, I tripped back in the house and showered. Finally, crawled back into bed. Then the giggles began and I just had to share my story w/ my kids. Look at the time of this e-mail..it's almost five a.m., and I AM WIDE F"n AWAKE!!! Shit, I should be at a party..Oh to be young again. But, Oh, the joys of living in laredo..I found out that it's cool, well, 80 or so outside, so maybe I really can sleep now..I just opened the bedroom window so I can breathe some fresh air..Your father is SOUND asleep, bless his heart. Night, night my sweet munchkins :) XOXOXOXO mami

minority report...

black people...midgets...whatever! they're all the same to me.

ok not really.

but all i know is kayne west said 'george bush hates black people' so it's gotta be true.

fun with numbers...

1. who ever is writing rude comments to/about the readers of this here blog needs to knock it off. that's not what i'm about and that's not what this blog is about. write me comments about how lame my post was, about the weather, you can even write me a poem, just don't go writing comments that are insulting to others, b/c that's just not cool in my book.

2. the hurricane is not going to pull a wizard of oz on me. so no need to worry. since i know you all are having sleepless nights over it.

3. what do elephants and plums have in common?
they're both purple... except for the elephant.

4. i'm going to vegas next weekend. jacy and i are going. my sister is going to meet us there and we're gonna meet up with the dude i met at the airport last thanksgiving too. jacy, laura, and i are gonna get married. we're gonna pick up an extra ring for wendy since she's in new zealand and can't join in on our debauchary

5. if you're happy and you know it clap your hands.

6. george bush hates black people.

and that's all i have to say about that.

this, that, and a bag of chips

i know, i know i should be sent away by social services for neglect. i wish i could have a cool reason for being mia, ya know, like i went on a jungle adventure thru the amazon river basin or i've been off finding a cure for herpes, but no. i have no excuse other than that i work a lot and i sleep even less. oh and that i've got these god awful allergies that are seriously kicking my rump.

there is this girl at my gym and she is pretty much the bane of everyone's existence and therefore is the bane of mine (seeing as how i'm the go-to person for drama and complaints). she just drives everyone nuts with her thinking we care about her asinine stories about the crazy guy that lives in the trailer next to her or about her boy drama or best yet about how her cats kicked her out of bed last night. anyway, my point is that she blew out her knee. who knows how. i'm sure she told me the story. i doubt i was really listening. and so now she can't work the classes that she barely worked in the first place. therefore, the rest of us and by "the rest of us" i mean "i" have to pick up her hours and teach her classes. which, of course, is awesome.

my sophmore year in college i lived in this dorm with 3 other girls. liz, amanda, and erica. liz and amanda were fantastic. we got along great and totally and completely agreed on everything. and by everything i mean the fact that erica was weird and gross. poor liz use to be kept up nights by the horribly nasty slurping noises coming from the bunk below. since that time i've done my darndest (and i'm sure liz and amanda have too) to block those painfully icky memories and erica herself out of our mind. so you can imagine my excitement when on my way back from notre dame this past weekend i ran into her at the chicago airport. when i saw her i immediately ducked my head and prayed to the good lord above that she hadn't seen me. yeah, no such luck. i'm boarding my flight and who do you think was sitting a few rows in front of me? you guessed it, icky erica and her sloppy kissing boy toy from way back when. the worst part is that they are not only still together, but they are getting married. ewwwww. my entire flight was ruined. why? b/c everytime i tried to close my eyes to catch some z's i'd have horrific acid flashbacks to the days i lived with her and her bottom bunk bumping and grinding. not to mention terrifying thoughts about the fact that they are going to procreate. eek. i really hope they don't. and if they do, i hope they get some soundproof walls or else those kids are gonna be all sorts of traumatized.

in the next few days i'll be adding a new contributor to my dandy little blog. my sis has been wanting to write and seeing as how i'm not writing as often as i'd like, i think adding her might be a fun thing. that way between the 2 of us, this blog is bound to pick up again with random goodness. laura and i pretty much share a brain, so don't worry about her not being as full of nonsense as i am. she lives out in la and i'm sure will have plenty of fun stories for us.

new show to watch: prison break
why: b/c the dude is friggin' hot. and i guess the rest of the show is pretty good too.
new song to check out: missy elliot/ lose control
why: b/c you really have no choice it's played on the radio so darn much.
word of the day: embonpoint
why: b/c i it has the word "plumpness" in it's definition.

until next time.

seacrest out.

ironing out the details...

after ironing for the last 2 hours i've decided that when i grow up there will be 4 options...

1. i wear nothing but 'wrinkle-free' pants and shirts.
2. i live in a hotel and have my clothes sent out daily to be 'pressed.'
3. i have an 'ironing fund' in which all the money goes towards paying someone to iron my stuff.
4. i marry a dude that likes to iron. and isn't gay or my brother.

meet you there...

this weekend my friend j and i went downtown and got hardcore ambushed by these 2 guys looking for "4th & party."

uh, yeah. cuz that place exists!