just my type...

a girl at work saw a picture of me and g and says "oh he's not at all what i pictured." which, of course, prompted the inquiry of what type boy she did picture me with. her response...big, tall, 250+, blond, 'aristocraty looking'.

'aristocraty looking'? what does that even mean? and 250+? really? hmmm. interesting. wonder what it is about me that would make her think that's what my choice of boy would be. must be the constant talk of food (or more specifically cheese), and my regular wearing of tiaras.

...i'm a toys 'r us kid

the funny thing about growing up is that one day you look around and you realize everything has changed. your friends all look different. your conversations all sound different.

which, i guess, means it's either time to grab a beer (or two) and try to forget that it's 9 pm and you're ready for bed, or sober up and realize you're at the wrong house.

just wondering...

is it just me or does anyone else rehearse their starbucks order on the way in?

three things to remember...

1. great effin' band: lucero

2. don't spend your evening drinking everclear spiked sangria followed by appletinis. (especially if the appletinis are so strong they pretty much taste how lighter fluid smells.)

3. smile like you mean it.

death by asphyxiation...

i hung out with the undertaker all morning. not the undertaker as in the dude who chills with dead people. the undertaker as in the wrestler. i teach his daughter. who, by, the way, totally farted while i had her in a handstand on the bar and after she did it she giggled and goes "i farted" to which the undertaker chuckled and called her gross. i love my job.

hefty issues...

so the lone male at my gym threw out his back today. we girls, being awesome, gladly picked up the slack so that he wouldn't hurt himself anymore. (and by we, i mean me.) turns out you never really realize how much someone does until you have to do their work. and i'm not talking teaching the classes(b/c i didn't do that), but the little things, like guarding the uneven bars during camp. man oh man let me tell you. lifting fatty fatty two by four up onto the high bar is not something i look forward to having to do again anytime soon. i was breakin' all sorts of a sweat heaving and hoing the little shits. i hate to be like that, and i'm sure part of the reason the parents bring the kiddos to us in the first place is in hopes that they can slim up a bit, but good god. there were definite moments of fear of death-by-squashing that permiated my being.

for this post alone i have no doubt i'll be cursed with waaaay plump children.

snow in july...

you know what's sexy? when you start peeling along your hairline and so it looks like you've got all sorts of hard-core dandruff.

awesome.

picture perfect...

talk about some sweet girl-on-girl action. absolute best picture of the weekend.

say it loud, say it proud.

about 4 years ago, i took a couple of my friends to a cowboys game up in dallas. it wasn't long after 9/11 so there were all sorts of "i'm proud to be an american" shinanigans going on. just after the halftime show (which was bursting with patriotism) a large, extremely drunk, middle aged man with a painted face stands up and with a thick texas accent screams "GO 'MERICA!!"

no a. just 'merica. it was beautiful.

and so i ask you to do yourself a favor and tonight, when watching the fireworks (or getting your freak on), take the time to say it loud and proud "go 'merica!" don't forget the drunken texas accent though. that's the clincher.

note to self...

if you're planning on spending 7 hours floating in the water and drinking copious amounts of beer try and remember to reapply your sunscreen.

sunny days and mondays

so i realize i just got back in the saddle, but i'm going to be leaving ya'll again. just for a couple days though. it's the 4th weekend-- can't exactly pass up a couple stress free days at the lake now can i. laziness and sunshine and fireworks. can i get a 'hell yeah!'. i'll be back monday night so i'll try and scrounge up a few stories for you while i'm away.

smiles, sparklers, and sass-
sara "i'm awesome, just ask my mom" segura

at long last...

hello hello my long lost internet friends. how i've missed you. so as you can tell i now have internet at mi case. suh-weet!! i got cable too but i think the dude did something wrong b/c it's not working. i can hear the words, but not so much on the whole visual side of things. if he busted my tv, i am not gonna be a very happy camper.

anyway, where to start. it feels like, you know when you lose touch with someone for a long time and you randomly find eachother again and you wanna catch them up on what they've missed, but so much has happened that it's almost impossible to actually fill them in on everything. yeah, that's how this feels right about now. here's the cliff's notes version...

the job: program director of the little gym- i run a non competative gymnastics gym for youngsters ages 10mo-12 years. it's awesome. i can't go out directly after work b/c wearing sweat pants and a tshirt out is usually frowned upon. unless of course you're going to walmart or long john silvers or something equally awesome.
the apt: rockin' and rollin', yo. the digs are sweetness- i'm very happy with my choice of accomodations.
the town: austin is such a great place and i'm extremely happy to be back. not to mention the dudes here are friggin' studs.

so yeah that's the basics in a nutshell. was that repetative? i think maybe it was. anyway, moving on to bigger and better things.

you know how they say everyone has a twin. well last night i met my ex-boyfriend's twin. it's uncanny how identical the 2 of them are. granted he was the 6 1/2 year old son of my hairdresser, but hey man age is just a number. it really started to freak me out after a bit. from the looks to the charisma to the fact that by the end of the night the kid was tryin' to cop a feel. i'm telling you. i-dent-i-cal.

there is this little girl that is at our gym 4/5 days a week at least. sometimes she comes twice a day. she is in every single camp we offer and she takes classes too. her name is kelly and she's hysterical. she looks like she's barely 2 years old. so tiny and frail. turns out she's 4 and a friggin' hoot and a half. she loves worms. everything has to do with worms. "kelly what's your favorite animal at the circus?" "worms." "kelly, what's your favorite thing to eat?" "worm pie." "kelly, what's your favorite jungle animal?" "the worms in the trees.' the girl cracks my shit up.

my boss (the owner of the gym) just had a baby on sunday and so as a gift i was going to get her a spa gift certificate and so i found this place online that seemed really nice and so i went by today to get a gift certificate and the place was all sorts of ghetto from the outside. and i know i'm not suppose to judge a book by it's cover, but i totally did and so after almost dying well trying to leave the parking lot i ended up on this road that took me, literally, to the other side of town. so now i'm way north, when i need/want to be way south and it's friggin middle of rush hour and i'm like, are you kidding me right now? so i'm stuck in traffic and decide oh i'll just go kill time in crate and barrel. then i remember that i've banned myself from there b/c i have no self control when it comes to buying things at that glorious, glorious mecca. and so i went into the container store instead, and yeah, turns out that wasn't such a good idea either. a pretty penny later i finally just decide to suck it up and deal with the traffic to get home. so i finally get here and decide i've just got cable and internet hooked up, i'm gonna have a total veg night and just enjoy being home. only to find something is seriously wrong with my tv and i'm too lazy and... well really i'm just lazy, but whatever i don't wanna have to fix it. maybe if i offer a free meal and a side of nookie to a hot boy he'll come fix it for me. anyway, i'm thinking it's almost 7, i could just ignore the lame, granny connotations and call it a night right about now, and no one would be the wiser. well except you fine folks, but i'm okay with that.

have a happy 4th everyone and remember not to play with fire or porcupines.

i have no idea what that means.