gun show...

i drove past this convention center type place today and it had a big sign out front that said "gun show" it took all the self-control i could muster for me not to go in, walk up to the dude in charge, and say "i'll give you a gun show" and then render him speechless by displaying my bulging biceps.

aluminum makes me hot...

the other day i was at the local record store, minding my own business, looking at some magnets they had on display. due to the humorous nature of said magents i was (yeah i'll admit it) chuckling out loud (to myself, mind you) when i hear a booming voice from behind say "they have some funny ones there?" to which i spin around in alarm and spot a gentleman with slightly tattered clothing and long flowing locks. i respond with a simple "yep" and a slight, obviously forced, grin.

now, this is where things get a bit hazy for me. maybe it's just me, but i would think a general rule of thumb, amongst normal folk, would be that if you ask a stranger a question and they barely answer you and immediately turn back to what they were doing, you'd maybe, possibly, consider leaving them be.

not this kind sir. he apparently took my abrupt response and forced grin as an invitation. an invitation to lay it on thick no less. he proceeded to tell me about how he recently moved here and in the move had his safe (yes, i said safe) stolen and lost all of his money. all $300,000 of it. yeah, i know. i don't get it either.

after a few other comments about how he's a (insert eye roll here) musician and has a studio and blah blah blah...he drops what may be the most absurd line ever. "so, are you into metal?" am i what? metal? like alloys? oh, we're talking music here? yes. i'm waaaay into metal. that's why i'm wearing a button down shirt, pinstripe pants, glasses and have a straw purse. because i'm into metal. hardcore. i mean seriously, dude!?!? come on!

does it really matter what happened after that?

(sigh)

the whole thing just made my head hurt.

and yes, i'm sure the pain was because of the conversation and not the rockin' metal show i had gone to the night before.

traffic woes and foes...

what in the sam hill is up with people who are turning right and wait for the friggin' new moon before turning into the wide open lane that is legally the lane the suppose to turn into anyway? the first lane has tumbleweeds blowing across it it's so empty and yet they don't turn until all 3 lanes are free and clear. i can understand waiting if you need to cut across said lanes, but when you end up turning into the first lane anyway, why not grow some cajones and just go before i plow you from behind.

oh and what's the deal with my mom getting pulled over for going 67 in a 65. note to self...beware of cops in the dilley area. they're bitches. and i bet they wait for all lanes of traffic to flow past before taking right hand turns.