i'm still here...

quite possibly without my sanity, but here just the same.

so you know your a blog slacker when...

1. you have to actually remember your password to blogger because your computer no longer automatically signs you in when you come to post.
2. you get emails about how your links to things/people are outdated.
3. ted is posting more often than you are (oh and t-dawg, your email keeps throwing back what i'm flinging at it, so get on that.)
4. you think of random things to write about about but then second guess whether you should or not, because you're not reeeally sure anyone is actually paying attention anymore.
5. you're me.
6. or my sister...

beep! beep! beep!

we interrupt this list for the "sara's a moron" portion of the program...

so, i'm sure this probably won't surprise many of you, but i left my wallet at a bar the other night. i'm not quite sure how i did it, considering i didn't actually purchase anything at the bar in question. but whatever! luckily, unlike me, my buddies can mangage to stay up past oh say dark and they were still at the bar when they announced my name on the pa system. "paging the really cool chick who left her life at a bar downtown on a friday night and probably wouldn't have even noticed until the next day, when she went to buy lunch and couldn't, and then she would have torn her world apart looking for said life in every place except the place she actually left it."

that's what they said. i swear.

hey so let's go ahead and break it down now with a slow little love jelly. uh i mean jam.

that made no sense.

this afternoon i saw these two really not attractive, slightly hefty women walking down the street all wrapped up in each other just laughing and enjoying the glorious day together and it made me happy. for them. and the world in general. it reminded me that life really is what you make of it.

my best bud from high school in colorado is getting married. i haven't seen her in probably 7 or 8 years. it doesn't matter. i'm still way excited for her. congrats l.

i found out my boy b is having baby #2. his first baby just turned 1. which means c probably hasn't even garage saled away her maternity clothes yet. so that's good. not to mention pretty couples = pretty babies (usually). congrats.

so, you know what's cool? knowing the flippin' top ten lessons for surviving a zombie attack. that's what's cool.

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

thanks for that, j . you're swell. (for more on how defend yourself against zombies go here)

alright, well folks, miss sara is outta here. she's bouncing on out. she's scootchin' her badootch. she's off like a whore's bra on, well, any night. wow, that was tasteful.

we'll see ya next time. until then, just remember...it ain't easy bein' cheeeeesy....

there once was a girl from nantucket....

i went to vegas. jacy and laura went too. at one point laura got her shoe stuck in the sidewalk and yelled at the mass of people behind her "you can go around me!" then some nice gentleman advized her to take her shoe off. i'm just glad she didn't fall and go rolling on the ground due to cylintrical force. or is it centrifugal. if only i were an engineer i might know. those last three sentences aren't suppose to make sense. they're inside jokes that i could explain, but then they wouldn't be inside anymore.

my knee is swollen. i didn't know why. then i banged it on the desk at work this afternoon and i remembered that i do that every day at least twice. i mean i'm not a doctor or anything, but that might not be so good for my knee.

jose (my lead instructor at work) played a festival show in laredo this weekend. jessica (my other lead instructor) and i decided to road trip it down and surprise him. after that show, they had to play this wedding reception after party and none of the guys really wanted to do it, so jess and i called the cops and complained about the noise. it rallied about 5 cop cars, but they didn't shut the shit down so jessica and i decided to just crash the party and float the keg.

because i love you, get yerself some ed harcourt.

because he's a porn actor (and by porn actor i mean a badass), go here.

because it's flippin' random, and strangely brilliant, go here.

because i'm already going to hell, sing this to the tune of 'yankee doodle dandy':
helen keller went to town, riding on a pony
stuck a feather in her hat, and called it eahegh.

damn the man.
save the empire.